Depression and the Tsunami
It's really hard to be properly depressed when there's been a tsunami.
Since quitting my life as a minor movie actor money's been tight. It seemed before, money just flowed in, whether I was working or not. Now I have to actually sweat for every penny. Blech! I'm just not cut out for this lifestyle.
Where's my Trailer!?!?!!?
Anyway my depression.
I finally got my bank account over zero. It's been about 3 months in coming. I was so happy I decided to celebrate (albeit in a low key kind of way). I thought I'd top off the festivities by splurging on movies all week - a perfect activity in this time of suspension between the christmas and new years parties.
When pulling out of the parking lot of the theatre I drove, backwards, really fast, into a cement post. Weirdly enough, just my wheel hit it. Within seconds I could feel my whole back starting to sieze up - that ol' whiplash feeling. I haven't had that since the '90's - 5 accidents in 5 years, none of them my fault.
Anyway, turns out I broke my drive train. Yes, I hit hard enough to crack metal. No wonder I've had a headache for 3 days!
My insurance will cover it but my deductable is substantial, relative to these times. Wow, it's less money than I use to make for a 4 hour wardrobe call, but now it takes me days to earn that...freaky!
So today I fell down. I couldn't keep my chin up for a moment longer. My upper lip was as feeble as a noodle. No buck to up and so I sat down and cried in the elevator of my apartment building, as close as I could get to Grand Central Station* (*literary reference).
And then I thought of the tsunami and as I told my mechanic through bleary eyes, "I know my problems don't amount to a hill of beans but they're the only problems I got....God Damn it!" He thought I was weird, but he did empathize. He's a new mechanic, he'll get use to me.
So, contrary to my usual modus operandi, I decided to give myself 4 hours to feel suicidal. I ate chocolates and watched Tatum O'Neal on Oprah.
Now I feel much better. Must go wash my hair and put cucumber on my eyes.
Another party. A practice one for New Years!
Moral of the story: Sometimes God wants us to mope and schedules the appropriate television programs.
Since quitting my life as a minor movie actor money's been tight. It seemed before, money just flowed in, whether I was working or not. Now I have to actually sweat for every penny. Blech! I'm just not cut out for this lifestyle.
Where's my Trailer!?!?!!?
Anyway my depression.
I finally got my bank account over zero. It's been about 3 months in coming. I was so happy I decided to celebrate (albeit in a low key kind of way). I thought I'd top off the festivities by splurging on movies all week - a perfect activity in this time of suspension between the christmas and new years parties.
When pulling out of the parking lot of the theatre I drove, backwards, really fast, into a cement post. Weirdly enough, just my wheel hit it. Within seconds I could feel my whole back starting to sieze up - that ol' whiplash feeling. I haven't had that since the '90's - 5 accidents in 5 years, none of them my fault.
Anyway, turns out I broke my drive train. Yes, I hit hard enough to crack metal. No wonder I've had a headache for 3 days!
My insurance will cover it but my deductable is substantial, relative to these times. Wow, it's less money than I use to make for a 4 hour wardrobe call, but now it takes me days to earn that...freaky!
So today I fell down. I couldn't keep my chin up for a moment longer. My upper lip was as feeble as a noodle. No buck to up and so I sat down and cried in the elevator of my apartment building, as close as I could get to Grand Central Station* (*literary reference).
And then I thought of the tsunami and as I told my mechanic through bleary eyes, "I know my problems don't amount to a hill of beans but they're the only problems I got....God Damn it!" He thought I was weird, but he did empathize. He's a new mechanic, he'll get use to me.
So, contrary to my usual modus operandi, I decided to give myself 4 hours to feel suicidal. I ate chocolates and watched Tatum O'Neal on Oprah.
Now I feel much better. Must go wash my hair and put cucumber on my eyes.
Another party. A practice one for New Years!
Moral of the story: Sometimes God wants us to mope and schedules the appropriate television programs.
posted by iorchid at 7:10 PM
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