volunteer imagineer
I love my work.
If only I could get paid for it.
I've spent my day working. At home. The wind howls and tries to tease the cedar fence from it's moorings.
It's unnerving. Yet fitting. This unrest.
I'm at work, imagining rapes and mutilations. War and murder. Emperors and punishments. I just realized why D&D held no interest for me. They weren't nearly serious enough in their pretending. Snakes and Ladders compared to Shakespeare's game of Risk.
I love the mental gymnastics required to untangle the code of thees and thous and thys and twisted epic sentences and the thinking/feeling on a dime.
To watch myself progress; from barely holding onto three words in a row, let alone a wriggling sentance that compares blood gushing from a severed tongue to a bubbling fountain stirred with wind; to finally riding the music when I know the course intimately enough to just submit and fly. First comes an astounding relief, followed by a God-like High.
My body doesn't know the difference between this pretend-for-real and real-for-real. And because of this, Life lived at this altitude of Drama becomes comfortable and everyday. The usual personal confrontations pale in light of revenging an virgin's unjust rape and mutilation.
Way better than playing horsey.
If only I could get paid for it.
I've spent my day working. At home. The wind howls and tries to tease the cedar fence from it's moorings.
It's unnerving. Yet fitting. This unrest.
I'm at work, imagining rapes and mutilations. War and murder. Emperors and punishments. I just realized why D&D held no interest for me. They weren't nearly serious enough in their pretending. Snakes and Ladders compared to Shakespeare's game of Risk.
I love the mental gymnastics required to untangle the code of thees and thous and thys and twisted epic sentences and the thinking/feeling on a dime.
To watch myself progress; from barely holding onto three words in a row, let alone a wriggling sentance that compares blood gushing from a severed tongue to a bubbling fountain stirred with wind; to finally riding the music when I know the course intimately enough to just submit and fly. First comes an astounding relief, followed by a God-like High.
My body doesn't know the difference between this pretend-for-real and real-for-real. And because of this, Life lived at this altitude of Drama becomes comfortable and everyday. The usual personal confrontations pale in light of revenging an virgin's unjust rape and mutilation.
Way better than playing horsey.
posted by iorchid at 1:34 PM
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